That’s what I’m doing, in a way.  Im following my dreams, wanting to be the big player, actually trying to execute on something I have been waiting on for quite a while.

This is the only thing I own with a reset button.  Hmm.

This is the only thing I own with a reset button.   At one time I think everything had one.

Sometimes, you just have to take your shot.

It’s a meaningful time.  Today I sat down to focus on some sort of philosophy  – since this is my company, I want it – at lest for now –  to be a personal expression.  I want that expression to be effective, to attract other people who carry the same sort of hopes and dreams I do.  After adding those people, that philosophy will change from a person, to the philosophy of a group, a company, a culture.

I know that many times a lot gets lost along the way.  Its not a dilution of the original vision – sometimes I think that maybe the boat just starts drifting in a direction it was never intended to go – because times got too good, people got too greedy, or times got bad and people got too desperate.  Or something hit someone out of left field.  We are all just people.  And people are affected by heir lives, their families, their bodies, and all sorts of stuff that we just don’t want to acknowledge.

Aaaand now I’m the one in left field.  Focus.

I decided to write this post after jotting down a lot of words on what I think my philosophy is, and how I would translate that into an expression for my venture.   Maybe I’ll get there.  But I started crawling around in my head, and now I’m finding that there are too many things jumbled up in there.  Too many things that want to come out, probably more that want to stay put.

So, before I go full bore into the woods of the unknown, maybe its time to get to know myself a little better.

I had the privilege of talking to a business owner here locally who has done very well for himself.  Since he also has a design background, he and I have a common thread and, thanks to a common friend, I was able to make an easy introduction and get some one on one face time with him.  All of this, by the way, was through the organization I have chosen to do my community service through.  Anyway…  He told me that I have to sit down and really be honest with myself.  What are my weaknesses?  What are my real weaknesses and fears – things I would not admit to anyone?

Have I even asked myself that questions?  Do I want to know what’s in there?  Do I want to write it down?

Write it down, he told me, and write it on something that you will throw away.  Only something that you will see, so you can let it all out.  These are some of the things that he has written down, and it has directed how he lives his life, explored the business world, and worked through his relationships:

  • Write about what makes you happy.
  • Write about what scares you.
  • Write about what will change.

That’s a short list, but a lot of stuff comes with that.  I sat down to write some sort of company philosophy and ended up with a 2,000 word raving piece of work.  There might be something good in there.  I’ll have to sleep on it.

But still – have I really been honest with myself?  Honest with what really motivates me?  Makes me happy?  What I think makes me happy?

I took a leadership course last year which puts things into boxes – you figure out what your goals are – short term, long term, all of that – and work through it,  Write it down.  I did that.  Was I really honest with myself?  I think so.   All of us did it in a class together.  We were asked, much of the time, to share it with others.  I’m not exactly sure that is where true honesty comes from, because while sharing with others is good, one continues to put a veil on things for others to see.  Like it or not, people do.

The guy who ran this thing encouraged, though, that one do this alone in solitude – he does it every year (perhaps more).  So as I started crawling around in my head, tripping over spider webs, I have started to wonder – would this work for me?

I don’t think this would be considered a reset.   I guess more of a meet and greet.  I’m thinking I should try it before a full-blown launch into the unknown.


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